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 J.D's Story

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TinkerM
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Posts : 83
Join date : 2010-10-13
Age : 65
Location : Redwoods California

PostSubject: J.D's Story   Sun Oct 31, 2010 11:35 am

Hi I am JDSOBER I am an Alcoholic & Addict

Of Course a drug is a drug is a drug including booze.
Alcohol Marijuana and pills.
I took my first drink at 12 years old and I knew instantly I found my cure of course I even had already set the goal was to get drunk. I really wanted the pain to stop even at 12 a ward of the court and in and out of a foster home and group home. I was able to get a job working for a catering company.
I remember I got so drunk I came up with the idea to put beer in the gravy. I was smashed and found that glow inside …oh if I could just hang on to it , it was best ever!
I know this may be hard to believe ,but I was fired from that job that night but I didn't know it.
The next morning was a hang over and I was drug out of bed made to drink orange juice with my head splitting open
And told we were going to sprint 2 miles ( Oh My God).
I think I made it a half mile and was ready to heave my guts up. Where was that glow where was the numbness.
Aww man the unkindest cut of all I would never find it again.
I stayed in the group home a few more years until an adoption happened (Long story short).
Before that happened though I was experimenting with marijuana in gym class since I hadn't dressed out for gym.
I had the worse stomach ache afterwards told my mom what had happened she came and got me from school as I was visiting on weekends and a lot during the week.
That was the coolest thing to me. She came and got me after I was getting high and I was coming down.
She doesn't realize today that she even did that I think she just wanted me so bad that she didn't listen to the rest she just wanted to take care of me.
I really loved her just had some real pain from a horrible beginning in this world.
That Love would soon come crashing down in just a couple of years. Leaving home getting a job drinking at school getting high. Oh and one funny thing was in 7th grade a friend and I took a bong to school to sell and a few authority figures asked if that's what it was; we looked at em like they were crazy, and said "no its an air pump we are selling for 10.00 dollars" They bought the story who knew? Huh?
By 19 yrs old I became a certified nurse aide (C.N.A).
2 weeks from graduating school and dropped out.
It was the result of me running away after getting high and drunk and totaling my mom's brand new car. No License No permission they were in Hong Kong at the time.
I got a live in job and started drinking on and off the job there soon for it to end just as quickly as it started.
After a while I took off and was in a rural town again drinking getting high losing jobs and couldn't pass a drug test. Soon when I thought a town couldn't get any smaller railroad tracks a garage and towing place, one market and a few churches and a gas station and police station. One cop on patrol at night and thought I would do well again. After all I got a job. Got hurt on the job and then lost it later due to drinking.
My new friends got married and I got drunk at the reception. I was awoke the next morning by the land lady trying to get me awake as I was puking on myself in my sleep. It never dawned on me that was a problem.
I had already been to a treatment center and they gave me Elloville aww man chasing that high again …I couldn't find it anywhere.
My parents tried to intervene again to no avail each time off and running.
After I made it back to my small town suddenly my new friends and I weren't getting along. Off I went mad. Got on the interstate and started hitchhiking in the pouring rain.
I met a trucker him and his gin and I became great friends on our way to florida.
To get away and just start fresh. He first dropped me off in Miami I soon discovered in 2 blocks no one spoke English there. I ran back to see if my trucker friend was there still he was …ahh thank goodness! I went back to Ft Lauderdale.
It was so much better. Imagine my luck with in a few hours I met a new friend. He said he had a condo… Wow what Luck did I fall into???!!! Imagine my surprise as we ended up in these weeds by the railroad tracks. I passed out.
The next morning coming to wishing for the comforts of home. That's what he had called his condo.
It didn't get much better a tall boy and a can of sardines.
Oh my gosh. That high was completely out of site.
My friend never came the next night. So I stayed there alone. The next morning I decided I needed help.
I go in in my cowboy boots dress shirt and swim trunks.
Oh I knew I looked hideous….But I wanted some help.
My friend had said I could sweep at the building in front of us and do some work for a meal pack of smokes and a soda.
He said it helped people who needed help with their drinking. Did I ever need help with that! By gosh I wanted to drink normal and was gonna learn how.
By the time I sobered up I was in tears looking at the state I was in and people here were dressed nice had cars my gosh and they all got help with their drinking.
A biker/trucker took me in back to talk to me.
I said I wanted to learn how to drink. He said that everyone would have loved that…but the best way he knew how was to not drink. Wow what a let down. I sure liked what people had though.
One lady there was having a baby shower and she said for me to eat. There was cold cuts and bread and I could get help if I wanted it. What a mess of my life I wanted help and I guess really looking back I wanted control of it still.
That was the first time I took anything serious stayed sober long enough to get in a half way house ….My body infected from ant bites and cuts and mosquitoes from sleeping out in the elements.
It would take another 19 yrs before I could stay sober a year Just in and out. There was no guarantee I could live this long.
Ive lived in California trying to stay sober and all over the place. Though now in Missouri my home state.
In 2004 My body racked with pain because of health problems. I said Kill me or cure me but if you aint gonna do either I want outta here!
I went to a meeting the next morning and I said Iam so and so and I am an alcoholic and I need help. I cant do this alone. Oh I started crying… Two treatment centers before that in 1998. White knuckling and taking a drink then back to a meeting I think it took til 2004 because I think even got high in between that time. God did take my life as I took the first step saying I need help.
Since that time I've struggled getting to meetings but my life has turned upside down. I go to meetings I talk with other alcoholics give my phone number out ask for help
I call others and I pray. I am in the middle of the steps yet and working too slow probably. But I was asked to speak at a meeting next week I am 3 ½ years sober.
My Body is healing and Recovery Inn has been a big part of my sobriety in the last 3 ½ years.
I have a sponsor who I met at my first meeting back in 2004
And in closing I would say you don't have to do as I did to get sober….you don't have to fight those who love you and those help you. You don't have to pick up the next drink or drug. To see if you can survive it again the war was won when you got here the battle is staying stopped one moment at a time one day at a time. There is a solution lets work it together so there's one less body bag to fill just for today.
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